7 Verbs Authors Use Sloppily
I’ve written several crime fiction novels which means I’ve had my works critiqued by some smart folks. One of those people was an author of national success. He once corrected my use of a certain phrase as it related to body motion.
“It’s too wordy,” he said, “and it’s already implied in the verb. Saying it the way you’ve written it sounds redundant and sloppy. Simpler is better.”
It was a harsh rebuke and I resented it for some time. However, he was right.
As I’ve moved through my writing career, I’ve worked to correct those early writing mistakes. Along the way, I’ve identified new errors and try to stay on top of them.
I figure it’s time to share my friend’s wisdom.
I’m going to make a bold statement that some authors won’t like—a lot of are using seven verbs wrong.
But trust me—we can easily fix them (if we want).
Don’t Stand So Close to Me
Let’s start with the simple phrase that caught the ire of my writer friend.
He stood up.
Stood is the past tense of stand. According to Merriam-Webster, one of the definitions for stand is to rise to an erect position.
For those who haven’t had their caffeine yet today, rise means to move upward. So, adding “up” to “stand” is redundant and sloppy (just as I was earlier corrected).
It’s cleaner to say:
He stood.
We don’t have to stand for sloppy writing.
Your Honor! I’m standing.
Sit on It
The opposite of standing has the same sloppiness problem.
Mark sat down.
Sat is the past tense of sit. According to Merriam-Webster, one of the definitions of sit is to rest on the buttocks or haunches.
We simply don’t need to add “down” since the definition implies that’s where we are headed with the buttocks or haunches. Therefore, it’s much cleaner to say
Mark sat.
Now, if the Mark were lying on the ground, it would make sense to write, “Mark sat up.” However, that’s a deviation from the norm. We don’t need to add “down” just because someday we might add “up.”
Captain America makes sitting look easy..
Nodding Off
It bugs me how badly nod gets used. I have seen:
He nodded his head,
(or worse)
He nodded his head up and down.
Per Merriam-Webster, nod is defined as to make a quick downward motion of the head whether deliberately (as in expressing assent or salutation) or involuntarily (as from drowsiness).
The head and its motion are literally in the definition! Writing “he nodded his head up and down” may be the most uninspiring seven words ever written.
He nodded.
Isn’t that more succinct? Nod if you approve. See what I did there? 😊
Nodding as it should be done.
Shrug it Off
You’re probably sensing a theme so let’s jump right to the definition of shrug. Per Merriam-Webster, shrug is an intransitive verb and means to raise or draw in the shoulders especially to express aloofness, indifference, or uncertainty.
The following sentence is brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department:
He shrugged his shoulders.
Shoulders are literally in the definition of shrug.
He shrugged.
Let’s keep our head and shoulders to ourselves when nodding and shrugging!
I Love Lucy when she shrugs.
Clap if You Know This One
This will be a two-fer. First, Merriam-Webster defines clap as to strike (the hands) together repeatedly usually in applause.
John clapped his hands. BAD!
John clapped. GOOD!
See how simple this is getting?
Merriam-Webster also defines clap as to strike with the flat of the hand in a friendly way.
John clapped his hand on Mike’s shoulder. BAD!
John clapped Mike on the shoulder. GOOD!
When clapping, John needs to keep his hands to himself.
Citizen Kane applauds your tight narrative.
This Thing is on the Blink
According to Merriam-Webster, blink is to close and open the eyes involuntarily.
Kathy blinked her eyes. Ugh.
Kathy blinked. Whee!
I think there might be a probably with Sarah Jessica Parker’s blinking. Maybe she should get that checked.
Wink Twice if You’re in Trouble…
Winking is the action cousin of blinking. Merriam-Webster defines wink as to shut one eye briefly as a signal or in teasing.
Al winked his eye. STOP!
Al winked. OH!
If you know this movie, you love the ‘80s . I know do!
This stuff is easy, innit? Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.
When this tendency toward sloppy action phrases was pointed out years ago, I thought it nitpicky. However, concise writing is important. Am I perfect? Far from it. My writing has gotten better along the way, but like most skills, it has taken time to learn. Going back through my older stories, I occasionally find these errors. That irks me.
By sharing this information, I’m hope it serves as a reminder for me to be vigilant.
Let me know if this info helped in anyway!