Colin Conway

View Original

Rose the Office Dog

It’s been a minute (as the cool kids say) since I wrote The House of Dog, my recap of the first year with a vizsla. Since then, things have calmed down with Rose, but there are still plenty of stories to share.

I mention Rose often in my newsletters and on social media, and she’s become known as the ‘Office Dog.’ My friends and family even call her that, which makes me happy in a weird way. It’s like having a four-legged wingman.

Writing is a lonely business, and it’s a little less so with her around. 

Rose’s Teddy Bear

During her second year, we got another dog—Teddy. She’s about seven pounds and is a great pal to Rose. The two of them are hilarious together. They run around the yard and even chase each other at times. And when they play fight, Rose lays on the ground and lets Teddy attack her face. Teddy is the size of Rose’s head, so it’s not a fair fight.

I wasn’t in favor of getting a second dog, but I was outvoted. I told the story of how that went down in The House of Dog.

Anyway, Teddy was a fantastic addition. Rose acts somewhat despondently whenever Teddy has to go somewhere alone (the groomer or the vet). I don’t know what goes on in the mind of my dogs, but I do know they like having the other one around. Who can blame them?

High Times with a Vizsla

This is not an anti-marijuana story. I supported the legalization of cannabis and still do. This is a cautionary tale for those who thoughtlessly toss their joints or half-eaten edibles away. If you plan on consuming cannabis in a public place, properly dispose of any remnants. Some dumb (yet loved) dog is likely to eat the stuff you carelessly leave behind.

My girlfriend took Rose (who was then two years old) for a moderate hike along a favorite trail. It was hot out, so my girlfriend stopped a couple of times to water the dog and give her snacks.

Toward the end of the hike, a young girl approached Rose. Usually, our vizsla was a maniac with new people and would wriggle, jump, and wag her tail. However, for that little girl, Rose did nothing—she stood still. This lack of enthusiasm from our puppy was problematic, and my girlfriend thought Rose might have worn down from the long hike in the heat.

As an aside, Rose often joined me on five-mile walks and never once got worn down. She was a two-year-old vizsla bursting with energy.

When my girlfriend and Rose returned to the car, the dog climbed sluggishly in and laid down. She was ordinarily hyper during car rides, but instead, Rose was disinterested and slept.

Rose in a more normal state.

Once inside our house, the dog seemed shaky. When I tried to pet her, she flinched as if my movement near her face was sudden and unexpected. We were concerned that she had gotten too hot and had a heat-related injury. Immediately, we applied cold, wet towels to her.

We did some quick research on the internet. Since we weren’t sure exactly what was going on with the dog, we focused solely on heat issues. Then Rose started peeing as she slept. This created a worry of kidney failure. We’re not doctors and didn’t even know if this could signify kidney failure, but we freaked ourselves out. That’s what happens when weird things occur to your dog.

I scooped Rose up, and we raced her to the emergency room.

The first thing the vet’s assistant calmly asked was if Rose could have gotten into marijuana. No, we emphatically said. The only mind-altering stuff we have in the house is beer, wine, and books. She’d had eaten one book by then, but I doubt that did much to alter her perspective.

The vet took our puppy into the back to run some tests. About thirty minutes later, the doctor updated us on the results of a urine test. You can already guess the outcome—our dog had THC in her system.

We figured that she ate something along the hiking trail. The vet said that Rose was the second dog to have done it that day. He said it had become almost commonplace for dogs to eat marijuana found discarded in public places.

WTF? I thought. Dogs eating thrown-away weed is now common? A quick check of news sources confirmed that claim. It’s been a growing problem since legalization (no pun intended). 

I spent hours watching my poor dog freak out because some ding-dong couldn’t follow the basic hiking rules of “pack it in, pack it out” or employ the simple courtesy kids are taught of not being a “litterbug.”

Maybe we should start an educational campaign and ask cannabis retailers to join. Perhaps it can be something catchy like, “Don’t be a ding-dong—the trail isn’t a place to empty your bong.”

Dog Damage

An irritating behavior of Rose is when she chews things that are not her toys.

It’s bad enough when she destroys toys purchased explicitly for her. If it’s got a squeaker in it, the dog becomes a manic. She’ll yank and pull on that toy until a hole develops. Then Rose will rip out the stuffing like she’s gleefully gutting some poor critter. All of this to get to that stupid squeaker.

The only toys that survive around our house are those heavy-duty rubber ones.

Poor Teddy. If any of her soft little toys are left in the open, Rose snatches them, sneaks off somewhere, and eviscerates them in minutes.

She’s a red-haired savage, and those are with dog toys!

In the first post, I mentioned that Rose destroyed a book—Dana Perino’s story of her vizsla, Let Me Tell You About Jasper. Well, she did it twice more.

The first time was with a library book. Rose chewed the heck out of James Patterson and David Ellis’ Unsolved. At least she was in the crime fiction genre! Unfortunately, we had to report that to the library and pay the replacement cost. Not cheap.

Rose then gnawed on 200 Ways to Protect Your Privacy by Jeni Rogers, a book that my girlfriend had recently purchased. She only read a couple of chapters before Rose got ahold of it.

The books are the more expensive items, but Rose also loves to find unattended chapsticks or tubes of toothpaste. Got an old napkin in a wastebasket? Rose will snatch it out and chew on it. Teddy also joins the action by ripping the napkin into shreds, so the scene looks terrible.

We understand that all of this behavior is our fault. When we leave things unsecured or not put away, Rose gets bored and chews on them.

There is an old maxim:

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry loose is not nailed down.

Rose has a similar maxim:

Whatever is not put away correctly is mine. Whatever I can find in a drawer, on a counter, or in an unsecured closet was not put away correctly.

At Christmas, she pulled three ornaments off the tree—all in a single afternoon while the family was out. And you would know they would be the costly Hallmark ornaments from earlier years. That means replacing them will be an expensive endeavor.

Update to Rose’s maxim:

Whatever I can find in a drawer, on a counter, in an unsecured closet, or hanging too low on the Christmas tree, was not put away correctly.

Rose the Office Dog

The Office Dog hard at work. She doesn’t have time for nonsense.

My girlfriend bought me a wingback chair for my birthday. It’s such a great piece of furniture, and it sits in my office now. It’s where I read a book or take the occasional long phone call. It’s also where Rose hangs out while I work.

Before the pandemic lockdown, I worked from home a couple of days a week. That was the start of “the Office Dog” thing. She hung out in my office while I worked.

When the nation went on lockdown, I worked from home daily. I think Rose loved my being home more than anyone else in the house. Every day she took her position in that chair.

We started playing catch with a ChuckIt Frisbee as a way for me to take a coffee break. While at the office, I would go for a walk with a buddy and grab a cup of java. It allowed me to clear my head before returning to the computer. With Rose, we developed a new and more fun habit.

Twice a day, we would go outside and throw the disc. Initially, she couldn’t catch it. But it didn’t take long before she honed in on the frisbee like a laser. She doesn’t hop into the air like a border collie, but she’s fast. Rose gets under the frisbee like a centerfielder chasing a deep fly ball. What I find fascinating is that she’s learned how to calculate the angle of descent. She’s a heck of a frisbee player.

I made a few videos of us playing catch on these breaks, including one during a winter storm. If you’d like to see them, here they are: 

Frisbee Dog is Better Than Coffee Breaks
Coffee Break Again
Winter Coffee Break


That’s where we are now. Life is a little calmer with Rose. That’s probably due to age and the addition of Teddy. I’m lucky to have a pal like the Office Dog. In fact, as I’m writing this, she’s in the wingback chair—right where she should be.

Keep an eye out for her in the newsletter or on social media. She’ll make more appearances!


See this gallery in the original post